Why Did You Doubt?

And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:28-30)
When my in-laws visit, one of the things I can always count on is that they will never come visit empty handed.  They were just in town to celebrate Easter with us, and they must’ve taken four or five trips to the car to bring in all of the things they brought us.  There were Easter gifts for Dominic, Mike, and myself; special foods that have been made at every Easter in their family for decades; there were groceries and all sorts of wonderful things.  I am always so appreciative of their generosity; they love to give, and it’s so great to be a part of their excitement, especially when the little guy got to open his Easter gifts and was so excited (for the first time) to open new things.
I don’t doubt their generosity.  I don’t have to remind myself that they’ve always done this in the past, and there’s good likelihood that it will continue in the future.
But I do have to do that with God.  And it drives me crazy that I can’t trust Him the way I trust human beings, when He is so much more powerful and is omnipotent and is love itself.
It helps me, when I worry about the future, to make lists about my past, particularly when I’m trying hard to trust God.  And when it’s all laid out on paper I feel ashamed, because I remember His goodness.  He has never let me down.  I can see where His hand has guided me throughout my whole life. But I still can understand why Peter looks around and sinks when he’s walking on the water towards Jesus.
I mean, can you imagine Peter out there on the water, about to walk on the water, and thinking in his head: “Well, I can go to Jesus, because He’s proved His awesomeness.  He raised that one kid, and helped that one guy’s daughter, and He also fed all those thousands of people, so I guess He’s worthy.  Here I go!”
That sounds ridiculous! But it’s something I do all the time.  Why can’t I just trust Him?
Nothing feels better than focusing on Jesus and knowing in your spirit that He cares for you and provides for you.  It’s a feeling that you would think would be easier to hold onto than it is, because one day you’re going to take your eyes off of Him and look around at those waves and all that rain.
Trying harder every day!

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