When my son was about a month old and I was permanently attached to the couch because I was nursing pretty much every minute of every day, I got the brilliant idea to watch Stand Up 2 Cancer, a fundraiser that a bunch of Hollywood stars and musicians put on to raise awareness and money.
It was not that brilliant, mostly because I cried the ENTIRE TIME. My mom had just finished radiation treatments for her cancer, and my hormones…I mean, it’s not right. But I was bored and lonely and there was nothing else. I cried so much that my husband, who works from home, had to come out and make sure our child was still alive, I was crying so hard. So Taylor Swift came on and sang a song about a 4-year-old who died of neuroblastoma, and I literally shouted at the TV:
“You have GOT to be kidding me. This is the SADDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.”
And it was! Until now. Because I have discovered Soul Pancake’s lineup of documentaries on YouTube, called “My Last Days.” These are a series of short films focusing on people who know they are going to die, very soon, and what they’re doing with their lives.
The one that went viral, Zach Sobiach’s story, was really sad. He seemed like such a sweet guy, and he was so optimistic and his family was so beautiful. The one that featured the dying 30-something year old who cried because he didn’t want his 4-year-old daughter to forget him was really, really sad.
But the one that got me the most was the one with the three-year-old whose cancer was diminishing, whose parents literally find out ON CAMERA that it’s back in full force and it doesn’t look good.
I mean, come on.
So I’m watching it and crying and my husband doesn’t even have to know what I’m looking at – all he does is take one look at my face and says “Turn it off,” and I can’t.
Yes, they’re awesome and inspiring and really well made and I love every one of them and I wish I could be 1/8th as wonderful and as strong as the folks they highlight.
But my heart, man. My heart!