Open Those Ojos is back in full effect!!
I’m a fan of writer Donald Miller, and up at his blog today he has an entry about whom God uses to do His work. Don writes that you don’t have to be very “qualified,” meaning you don’t have to be skilled at one particular thing to have God use you. You don’t have to be the smartest theologian in the game right now, for example. You don’t have to be much of anything other than someone who desires to have God use them.
I think about what that means. I definitely have the desire for God to use me in whatever way He likes, but it doesn’t always look the way I want it to. Shoot, I don’t always look the way I feel a good Catholic should. I go to Mass every week, but I’d say it’s a toss-up between wanting to be there and not wanting to go to Hell. I read the Bible and I try to listen for God’s word, but I end up in places mostly wondering why in the world God wants me there.*
And I get it: the idea that it’s not about me – it’s more about the idea that God knows what He’s doing and as long as we trust Him, He’ll put us where He wants us to be. That’s what’s going to make Heaven** really fun, I think – the possibility of getting to see how we ended up where we did. Some of it will be painful, I bet – because that’s what happens when we follow our own paths out of selfishness and pride – but I bet it’ll be neat to see how God’s Providence was there all along, even when we didn’t know it ourselves.
Sometimes we get little glimpses, in the little things, even now. Some things just pop up in hindsight already. I’ve seen it in my own life. For example: when I first moved to Pittsburgh, I worked at a small company and was pretty miserable. I worked with a lot of good people, but the environment was pretty difficult to work in, and I prayed every day to get out of it. And I did – I was fired. I didn’t want to go that way, of course, and that led to a lot of trusting in God for His providence to help my husband and myself out with how to make money – but I know now and am so thankful that the Lord got me out when He did. If I would’ve stayed much longer I would’ve cracked like an egg on the sidewalk for sure. Another example was when later on that winter, my husband and I got into a car accident. Nothing big, just a fender-bender when another car hit us, but the damage to our car was appraised for the right amount that we needed to pay our bills for the next month. Sure, during the accident we were freaked out, but God saw the plan and provided. Do I think God sent the car to hit us? I don’t know. But I do know that He used the incident to help us out.
It’s just such a battle, learning how to submit to God and His Will, which just looks so incredibly different from what we think we should see or experience. Obviously love looks different, but other things to too, like success. Success to me might mean something very different to God. And the challenge is to deny what we want – our ideas and visions of success – and trust that as long as it’s okay with Him, it’ll be okay with us, too.
* Ever do that trick when you open the Bible randomly and take whatever you first lay your eyes on as what God wants you to know right then? I ALWAYS end up in the really destructive Jeremiad sections where Jerusalem is always being laid to waste. Don’t get it. At all.
** I’m assuming here I’ll get into Heaven, but shoot — I’ll take Purgatory!