So I think I need to talk about how good God is today.
A little backstory: my husband works as a consultant for a bunch of clients, and although the work is good, sometimes he doesn’t get paid on time; and because his is our main source of income, it can get pretty stressful thinking about how we’re going to pay our bills on schedule. And I was freaking out about it majorly this week, super anxious about what would happen if his clients were late in their payments or if there was a hiccup with getting the checks to us.
And, like I do so often, I get so caught up in the “What ifs” that I totally forget to rely on God and to trust in Him. I cry out to Him, sure, but I don’t focus on Him and what He can do. I just worry and tell Him what I need to get done, on my timetable, and want Him to work around what I want. And I know that God doesn’t work that way, but…hey, sometimes I forget.
So it was a rough start to the week. But on the advice of Jen over at Conversion Diary, I checked out a book from the library called 10 Prayers God Always Says Yes To (it’s a short book, and I think you’ll love it, it’s great). One of the prayers the author mentions is “God, help me get through this,” when you’re having a hard time. He doesn’t say to pray that God will take us out of that particular circumstance; he doesn’t say to pray that God will end whatever it is that is bothering us; he just suggests to pray to God to help us rely on His grace.
He mentioned that story in the Gospels about Jesus calling Peter out to walk on the water with Him. And he does, and it’s great, for…about half a minute. Then Peter notices that he’s surrounded by crashing waves and pouring rain and thunder and lightning and he becomes afraid, and he starts to sink. Jesus catches him, and asks him what happened to his faith.
And I thought about that story and how it pertained to me, in my own struggle this week. And I was just like Peter was. I focused on only the storm. I focused on how uncertain I felt, how much fear I felt. I focused on the waves and the thunder and the rain, instead of Jesus.
So I prayed for the grace to focus on Him only. To know that the storm was around me, but not to focus on it. To just stare up at Him and to hold His hand and to trust Him.
And I felt this peace, this beautiful, beautiful peace. I can’t describe it in real words, I just…knew everything was going to be okay. And my husband was sharing all of his frustrations with me, and his own worries with me: how would we pay our taxes on time? How would we be able to pay our bills without relying on others’ help? And I told him I just knew it would be okay. That I had this feeling that it would be fine. And we both felt better and content.
And today, in the mail, came a payment from one of his clients that will pay our next round of bills.
God is so good, and I wanted to share that moment of mine and to encourage all of you to focus on Jesus through your storms. I mean, you know the storm is there – you’re not stupid – but it’s not your life. Jesus is. And it’s such a good feeling to have. 🙂
Have a great day! 🙂