So there’s this movie out now called The Rite, and it stars Anthony Hopkins in yet another weird and creepy role, the kind it seems he doesn’t need to do much work to fit into. Like he just steps out of the trailer and walks down the street and the director yells “cut!” and then he goes back in the trailer. Very minimal acting. But he seems like a nice guy.
But that is neither here nor there. This is about another exorcist movie, called The Exorcist, which pretty much is the standard by which all other exorcism movies are measured up to.
I heard stories about it long before I saw it. My parents told us they were in their late teens/early twenties when they went to go see it, and one of their friends was so spooked by it that he went home and he, a nineteen year old man, slept in between both his parents that night.
The first time I saw The Exorcist I was at home alone, and pretty scared — for about three minutes. It was great! It was dubbed in Spanish, which pretty much made it the most hilarious thing ever because they managed to use the same Spanish actor’s voice for no less than every part in the movie. The girl who gets possessed? Voiced by the Spanish dude. The demon that inhabits her body? Voiced by the Spanish dude. The mom with the really long-sleeved 1970’s polyester one-piece pantsuits? Voiced by the same Spanish dude.
(Translation: “I like bread and butter…and sin.” – The Devil.)
But then, in college, a bunch of friends of mine and I watched it, and it was the scariest thing I had ever seen. And I’m Catholic, so we believe in things like the Devil and possession and exorcisms.
I can only imagine what would happen if, God forbid, I’d ever be possessed:
(Translation: “I like fish…and sin…oh…no…only sin…but fish, too…oh…no…what?”)
Yeah. Exactly. After about ten minutes of that, I figure the Devil would probably get sick of it and leave on his own.